Angels in disguise

angelHe was conspicuously humble, yet possessed a regal countenance I can’t put to words. His hands were battered from working hard. His wrinkled, sunburned skin made him seem older than he surely was. As he spoke, I could tell he was a wise yet uneducated man. He seemed awkwardly uncomfortable with small talk (we had something in common) yet couldn’t get too deep with his conversation, but tried. He had these huge eyes that sparkled and grinned every time he talked about his dying wife. All the while he was grieving inside.

He restored my faith in humanity.

This is a man I met not long ago who came to my house to repair my broken oven. He told me his wife had recently had a double mastectomy and was trying to recover, but her life expectancy was shaky. His teen daughter came to my place to wait for her dad, we had a very brief encounter, me and her, yet I got a glimpse of her demeanor while she was watching her dad work that caught my eye and made me realize that my intuition about this man was true. I regarded his way of carrying himself as atypical considering his strenuous life. People where I live seem so consumed with their everyday lives (specially those with such a low level of education) that very rarely one sees a character so happy about life and himself, with such a positive vibe, that one can’t help but notice and enjoy. I want a double scoop of whatever he’s having, I thought. He’s an everyman with a privileged disposition towards life.

He told me a little bit about his life trying not to emphasize his hardships, yet I could infer they were many. While I walked him to his car he saw my guanabana tree and asked me if he could have some leaves to make his wife a concoction with them. Just some leaves! I thought, at this point I would’ve wanted him to have the whole tree. I felt so blessed by his presence. If only he knew. I couldn’t help but wonder why on earth are there so many people who can’t get a grip and waste no time complaining for every damn thing around them. How this negative disposition offends my soul knows no bounds. Yet, I can’t throw rocks at anybody ’cause I too have fallen victim, at one point in my life, of this unnerving act. Of course being aware of a limiting attitude is the first step towards changing it. I try to constantly remind myself of all the good in my life so I don’t have the need to complain every time something doesn’t go my way. He was sent to remind me once more. He was an angel in disguise, not so much by what he said but by how he made me feel & what I understood just by taking notice.

angels 1Angels disguised as common people are everywhere. We just have to be aware of their existence and learn what they’re trying to teach us, usually without them knowing. They have many things in common, such as: they’re never self-promoting, they don’t have the need to prove themselves to anyone, they don’t need to adulate anybody in order for people to feel loved in their presence, they seldom speak ill, they know themselves very well and embrace who they are, yet carry an uncanny aura of humility. They’re selfless beings who have a natural zest for life, yet carry themselves with such dignity and humble pride (if such term exists) that you can’t help but admire and strive to emulate them. They are highly emotional mature people who, in essence, have an attitude that speaks louder than words.

These people use their pain as a catapult to further understand compassion and love. Their character is a natural flow of their values. They know that good channeled pain can do so much good in the world whereas badly channeled pain can do so much evil. How much time one spends with them is unimportant. It can be from a fleeting encounter to a lifetime. What matters is the lifelong (usually subconscious) impact they leave whosoever crosses their path and is appreciative of their ways. I’ve been blessed to have met quite a few.

“Pride is spiritual blindness. It’s a delusional view of self. It’s unreality on steroids. It’s the thing to which we are most blind in ourselves, but can clearly see in others. We cannot see pride though it is our most grievous, disabling sin because its very nature is blindness and the first thing to which it is blind is its own existence”- excerpt from the book Gospel-Powered Humility

Posted in Life...it happens, Nuggets of Wisdom | Tagged , , , , ,

I am Success

prayer 2
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “I am success
not because I think so
but because I know so
 
I am success
not because others tell me
but because I tell myself
 
I am success when I fear
I am success when I fail
 
Because I learn
 
I am success
when I love
 
I am success
when I hurt
 
Because I feel
 
I am success
when I have
 
I am success
when I have not
 
I am success
in defeat
 
I am success
in victory
 
Because success is not a circumstance
but a choice
 
Success comes from above;
it starts with weak knees
and a strong will
 
I am success
because I am created for no less
and so are you.”
 
by qualia for life
Posted in Nuggets of Wisdom, Piece of "Mine" | Tagged , , ,

What does success taste like anyways?

successThis is a question most of us wonder at some (more often than not pivotal) point in our lives. What is the answer? God only knows. After the birth of my kids I was having a hard time coming up with relevant answers to this question. Having a wonderful husband and two beautiful & smart kids tasted like success. Yet my mind still inquired. I had the opportunity of surrounding myself abroad with a diverse group of women – well educated and not – who decided never to work outside their homes on behalf (or with the excuse) of rearing their children. I questioned myself if that was right for me. As much as I love to be present in my children’s lives the answer was always a resounding no. Yet, I kept wondering. How dare me to want more if I found myself in a position of privilege!… “To vork or not to vork, zat eez ze question?” I’m not saying that the extra income was not needed, of course it was, but in this prevailing maternity-on-a-pedestal-children-first society that we live in, a mother can only wonder what is the best way to go.

There were a lot of dissonant voices in my head trying to figure out an answer that would fully satisfy me, but to my dismay there were none. What was I to do with a lot of questions and very little answers? To this I quoted Rainer Maria Rilke in my head about loving the questions more than the answers because the answers will come to you once you ask yourself the right questions and bla bla bla. It did very little. I was brought up to believe – by society and the likes – that having a lot of money was the very definition of success. Having been on both ends of the equation at different points in my life I questioned this definition to the most visceral part of my being. Then I thought, Ok if society’s definition of success is not on par with my noblest ideals, maybe, just maybe I could define success on my own terms. Bingo! I searched within myself – and thanks to the big gap on my résumé because I chose to be a stay at home mom for a while and nobody would hire me anywhere else – I landed a teaching gig, through which I discovered how to embrace my passion and get paid teaching it! Hip hip hooray!

making a livingI am a Language Arts highschool teacher and I love it! I get to read – nonstop – and educate teens (yikes!) on how to love and connect with all sorts of books. At first I was a bit skeptical at how things would turn out since the only thing I could really teach was my passion for reading and writing (no relevant studies on the subject) and english is not even my native language! To my surprise my class is basically comprised of just that: reading and writing… I was flabbergasted! Then my sense of duty obligated me to spend a lot of time researching for material that would engage students on this rewarding art form and provide them with a set of tools that would help them connect to their reading which will help them to write better. I have a lot to learn, but keep trying my best to teach what I know. And yes, I do read every single essay they write, and often compliment their singular ideas.

Long story short, I don’t know if this is the rest of my life or what but for the time being I found my calling. There are very few things I love more than sharing my passion with others in a consistent and earnest way. To know if I’ll stick with this in the long run I have to keep asking myself: Why do I love doing this? What is it about it that brings me joy and feels meaningful? What do I need to do in order to find more opportunities of doing this? I find teaching a very critical job because I get to touch other’s lives everyday for better or for worse. The moment this does not feel right for me I will surely stop. Otherwise I will not be true to myself and my values and end up misguiding others along the way (namely my students). 

Just a week ago one of my students came to me and said: “Miss, because of you I now like to read.” I felt a choke in my throat and could only muster a smile. This is what success tasted like to me.

Posted in Piece of "Mine" | Tagged , , , ,

Busy: An overrated word

keep calmEverywhere we turn we find busy, busy people around, even when they are not busy they’re busy with their thoughts. The fact is we live in an extremely busy world. Some people honor the word busy as if it is a prize in and of itself, as if being busy somehow makes them feel virtuous. I’ve been trapped in this mentality – thank you very much type A personality. – But the past few years I’ve realized that there is something wrong with this picture. Making myself busy all the time was an unconscious attempt to numb my feelings, my real intentions in life, it was my way of feeling worthy of myself. Until I found out that I needed to go on a different route. I thought that by being constantly busy I was being more productive – ergo more worthy – till I realized the opposite is true.

Just last year I used to think that with two small children and a demanding job, how on earth could I not be busy & overwhelmed!? Then I found meditation as a tool to help cure my inner buzz. I learned that I could be busy without being overwhelmed. That despite having an endless laundry list I could be calm and at the same time be twice as productive. This comes as a surprise to no one, since meditation is older than the dust. But the fact remains that if I do not incorporate meditation into my daily life it is going to stay on a wishful thinking list A.K.A worthless.

I’ve come to realize that ‘busyness’ is a state of mind. Even saying the word ‘I’m so busy’ to myself somehow hinders my day into unproductiveness, it gets me tired before I even started, thus overwhelmed. I’ve known people who despite their full schedules & overwhelming agenda, seem absolutely calm and at ease, and I say to myself ‘I want a piece of that.’ These are the people who I feel drawn to. They have been a long-standing puzzle in my mind. Not anymore! What I love most about calmness is that it’s contagious (so is agitation) & when I see calm I become calm. Thank you calm people out there, you’re doing a wonderful job (even changing the world) without even realizing it.

“…I think that there is nothing, not even crime, more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself than this incessant business.”- Henry David Thoreau

Now, I know there’s more to keeping-ourselves-calm-through-busy-times than meditation. Sometimes we lose ourselves so much in our busyness that we create blind spots in our personality, that of course we don’t realize (they’re called blind spots for a reason, duh.) These come in a variety of annoyances such as: not being present in a conversation, not reading between the lines of the needs of loved ones, not assessing our own needs (maybe only our wants), and the likes. It amazes me how I sometimes catch myself not paying attention to my children (while they’re pulling my arm to go play with them) whilst reading a blog post on ‘How to listen to my children’s needs.’ It happens to the best of us. But the important thing is to notice those little moments so they don’t turn into big regrets.

Awareness is my other tool. Try as we might, it is virtually impossible to notice every single mistake we make, but the more we are ‘aware’ of the importance of awareness in our lives, the more capable we are of being in a course-correct mode. Multitasking is not something we should strive for. I think the guys have it right (sorry girls). Multitasking as useful as it sometimes is, thwarts our concentration & our blind spots go ballistic.

“Self-control is strength; right thought is mastery; calmness is power”- J.A.

Yoga & regular exercise are excellent ways to destress oneself. Everyone who knows me knows that exercise does not come easy to me, it is not imprinted in my DNA (like it seems to be in some people), but since I am aware of its crucial importance in my life I do like Nike says. And yes I have reaped its multiple benefits – more the emotional than the physical ones.-

be still 2Prayer is my best tool, it enables me to use the other tools adequately. When I sync my spirit with my Father’s, He allows me to realize the momentousness of bettering myself. He makes me feel loved and worthy so I can become aware of my faults and therefore find the will & the ways of correcting them. He enables me to become emotionally & physically healthy thus allowing me to add meditation & exercise into my everyday life. What would I be without Him? Just a bunch of roads without a map.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus.”- Phil 4:6,7

Posted in Nuggets of Wisdom, Piece of "Mine" | Tagged , , , ,

The people I like

Famous Latin American poet Mario Benedetti took the words right out of my heart & mouth with this amazing poem. It’s like he read my mind & soul to the bones with this one. When I first read it I was in awe of the way it perfectly describes the people I like to be around with & admire. It really struck a chord & I choose to share it with you. Without further ado I give you…

“The People I Like” 

joyI like the people that vibrate, that don’t need to be pushed, that you don’t have to tell them to do stuff, because they know what needs to be done and just do it. I like the people that cultivate their dreams until those dreams take over their own reality. I like the people that are able to face the consequences of their actions, people that risk what’s true for what’s uncertain to go after a dream, people that allow themselves to run from “sensitive advice” leaving solutions in the hands of our father God.

I like the people that are fair with their own people and themselves, people that are thankful for each new day, the good things existing in their life, people who live every hour with good enthusiasm giving their best, thankful for being alive, for being able to give smiles, for being able to offer their hands and help kindly, waiting for nothing in return.

I like the people that are capable of criticizing me constructively and up front, but without hurting me. People with tact. 

I like the people with sense of justice. These are the people I call my friends.

I like the people that acknowledge the importance of joy and preaches about it.

I like the people that with jokes teach us to conceive life with humor.

I like the people that never stop being childish.

I like the people that are sincere and honest, capable of opposing with reasonable arguments to anyone’s decisions.

I like the people that are loyal and persistent, that fight tirelessly for their goals and ideas. I like people with criteria that are never ashamed of recognizing a mistake or recognizing ignorance about something. People that, when accepting their mistakes, genuinely make an effort not to make them again. People that fight against adversities. People that look for solutions. People that think and meditate. People that value their equals not by a social stereotype or how they look. People that don’t judge and don’t let others judge. I like people with personality. People capable of understanding that humanity’s biggest mistake is to try to get out of their head something that won’t go out of their heart.

Sensitivity, courage, solidarity, kindness, respect, peace, values, joy, humility, faith, happiness, tact, trust, hope, gratitude, wisdom, dreams, regret, and love for others and oneself are fundamental things to be called PEOPLE.

With people like this, I can commit to anything for the rest of my life, because just by having them next to me, I consider myself well rewarded.

-  Mario Benedetti

Ditto Mario Benedetti. Plaudits to the people we like & enrich our world by their mere presence.

(painting by Alice Bailly “A Concert in the Garden”)

Posted in Piece of "Mine", Rapport | Tagged , , ,

A love letter to myself

Love lettersDear Mel,

This is the first time I write you a letter, which makes me very excited. There are many reasons why I decided to write to you, like letting you know how much I value the time we spend together, which by the way, is a lot. I actually look forward everyday to spend quality time with you, like our much anticipated 5 AM yoga routine together is nothing short of amazing! Or the time we spend reading in our favorite corner sipping some nice hot beverage, few things top that! I also love spending time with your family & friends they seem very interesting people. Your kids are absolutely adorable.

We have spent 35 years together with our ups & downs. Yet, I manage to remember mainly the ups more than the downs. Do you remember the time when, try as I might, I couldn’t convince you about how pretty you are. I did my best trying to make you see your own beauty, but there was no use, you kept insisting that your mirror told you otherwise. I could see your beauty right through your heart, but you were short-sighted. I am so glad you are over that & now understand that the essence of physical beauty comes from the heart.

Remember that just a while ago we were not on speaking terms when you started criticizing yourself for not being perfect? You were not able to understand that perfection is not the point. You needn’t be perfect to be loved or happy. I don’t know were you got that from, really! But all this time I’ve come to respect your values, like the way you try to be fair with those around you. I commend you for how you’ve next to mastered the art of not taking things personal. I admire the way you try to make people special & worthy of your time. For you listening to people & opening your heart is an art form. Kudos my friend!

I absolutely cherish the moments we spend meditating & praying, all the while figuring out the world’s most grueling predicaments; you usually ask God to help you out with these, I absolutely agree. I appreciate the time you take from your busy schedule to spend time with me, mostly by ourselves. I owe you for this one!

I cringe every time I remember you thinking that you’re not good enough. How can that idea ever crossed your mind?! Remember when we had that long conversation & you came to the conclusion that your worthiness was, in fact, your birthright & not something you need to earn. Remember when I told you that the moment you need to prove your value to the people around you is the moment you have to reevaluate your environment or your self-acceptance. What a joyful moment it was when you realized that true love to others & by others starts from within yourself, God’s dwelling place. You were 13 I remember, which was about the same time you invited Jesus into your heart & never looked back.

selfloveI can still recall when you listened to Brené Brown’s famous TED talk about vulnerability & you said to me: “The hell with it, being vulnerable is the way to go! Instead of pretending to look powerful in front of people (who by the way will never buy that for a second) I choose to be myself & connect with them on a deeper & more authentic level by showing my true essence through vulnerability. People don’t relate to perfect, they relate to human”… long story short, you felt more understood & connected than ever before! Yaay!

You are a work in progress, just like everyone else, but overall I think you’re going to make it, I have faith in you. It has been a grueling process no less & it will continue through out life, because the minute you learn something you have to relearn it everytime you apply it. A very good example of this is when you understood that loving others by accepting them exactly the way they are – their mistakes, bad moods, short temper, etc – and not try to make them fulfil your ideal of them, specially with people hard to love, is a lifelong journey that will never end. But I’ve seen you reap the benefits of your constant efforts on self-improvement, which makes me so proud. I want you to know that I’ll always – and I mean always – have your back… literally. You are my best friend & will be for life, I wholeheartedly love you & accept you just the way you are, imperfections & all. Never lose that sparkle in your eyes & smile when you’re doing what you love & being with those you love, including me. Never erase those from your face, no matter what!

Yours truly,

Your Soul

P.S. I invite all my readers to write themselves a love letter, it is absolutely liberating & fun!

Posted in l´amour, Piece of "Mine" | Tagged , , , , ,

She let go

images (2)She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.  She let go of the judgments.  She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She just let go.  She let go of all of the memories that held her back.  She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.  She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

- Poem by Rev. Safire Rose

Give yourself permision to just let go…

 

Posted in Nuggets of Wisdom | Tagged , , ,

My life’s motto

love others

Image | Posted on by

35 life lessons on my 35th birthday

1867923This is a big turning point in my life. It makes me inquire about what have I done for the past 35 five years & it makes me wonder what will come in the later years. I honestly feel I am turning 25… only wiser. I feel wonderful about my inner & outer self more than ever before, yet I am baffled to see some gray hairs on my head. In 5 short years I will turn the big four O! I keep repeating to myself it is only a number nothing more!

I honestly believe life is not about taking years out of one’s life but adding life to our years. Yes I would love to stop the outward aging process but NEVER the inner. Yes I have gray hair, but I also am more confident in my own skin than ever before (I would never trade that!). Taking the good with the bad. As simple as that. Aging gracefully is the way to go! Accepting my physical changes & embracing my emotional ones. As opposed to getting crazy with surgery in an unnecessary attempt to match a physical ideal.

Nobody handed me my age in a silver platter, I had to live every single nanosecond of it. That is why I’ll share with you 35 things I have learned so far about life:

1. The older I get the less attention I pay to what people say & more to what people do.

2. I left my ‘all or nothing’ mentality way back in my twenties.

3. In relationships it is all about connecting emotionally with people, reading between the lines.

4. Procrastinate productively.

5. Reaching my goals faster is not the trick, it is reaching them better.

6. Between joyful & right, I choose joyful.

7. My worst moments are my best teachers.

8. Slowing down, becoming more calm & accepting what is as opposed as how I want it to be – if and when I can’t do anything to change it.

9. I will never be all things to all people. And that is SO ok!

10. I’ve learned that not everything that comes out of people’s mouths is important or should be taken into consideration. Let go of unnecessary information.

11. Fresh sheets on my bed are a big deal.

12. Friends are the best & cheapest form of therapy.

13. If I don’t take care of myself, I can’t take care of anybody else.

14. Honesty to myself and others is always the best policy.

15. Losing a person does not mean stopping the relationship I have with them, sometimes it becomes better.

16. Being at peace with everybody has nothing to do with everybody & everything to do with me.

17. Perfectionism is more about what other people think, striving to be better is more about what I think of myself. Choose the latter. Breaking up with perfectionism obligates me to be me.

18. Family is love’s gymnasium.

19. I don’t need to have everything figured out to be happy.

20. The older I get the less interested I become in material stuff.

21. An empty schedule is a thing of beauty.

22. Love no matter what.

23. When I go into a room full of people to give a speech or class, I get to absorb their energy & they get to absorb mine, this makes me giddy and brings joy to my heart.

24. Girlfriends are priceless.

25. A heart-felt hug is my favorite gift.

26. I’ve learned that we have two ears & one mouth for a reason.

27. Expectations are fast tracks to resentments.

28. You should only compare yourself to your former self.

29. Kindness is a choice that has nothing to do with others and everything to do with me.

30. The more I know, the more I find out how little I actually know…. no kidding!

31. Parenthood teaches more about life than anything else in the world put together.

32. Sleep is a priority.

33. Drama is only meant in our tweens.

34. Music transports my soul.

35. God within me makes me valuable, worthy & powerful beyond measure.

and a freebie: Let go… no seriously LET GO of people, situations & expectations… the good ones always stay freely!

I can’t wait to see what my 40s are going to bring me!… Oh yes I can ;)

Posted in Nuggets of Wisdom, Rapport | Tagged ,

From fear to love

Image“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”- John Lennon

Forgiveness is continuous. It is not something we do once in a while when someone wrongs us. Forgiveness is a constant decision we make every single day, every single moment – when we have a bad thought, when someone acts in a less than desirable way, when we misinterpret something, etc. Forgiveness is a state of mind & the key to inner peace because it is one of the most powerful ways to transform our thoughts and actions from fear to love. Our perceptions of others often become a battle between our ego’s desire to judge and our soul’s desire to accept people as they are. Forgiveness helps us ease our away into the latter. Our society’s most insidious cancer is fear; one of the worst types of it is the feeling of ‘never being good enough.’ Our self-loathing – for not being perfect – can sometimes take ridiculous heights like trying to prove our self-worth to everybody we come across, which kicks our inner peace out the curb. Controlling situations & people is another form of fear, by doing so we are making sure that people keep their distance from us because we are not helping them exercise their free will & situations will not properly fall into place. Therefore, we become restless, sad & yes… more fearful.

“We don’t need to be successful in order to be happy, yet we need to be happy in order to be truly successful”- Unknown

People & situations are ever changing. One day people love you, the next they don’t (which was never love to begin with). One day situations are running smoothly, the next they don’t. One day you feel good about yourself, the next minute and a half you don’t… the list is endless. The only certain thing is change & it usually is beyond our control, thus we become frantic. The only thing within our control is the way we choose to perceive people & situations. Perceiving correctly will, of course, become second nature through awareness & practice.

At times, we become desperate looking for validation anywhere we can find it, we search under the rocks if we have to, yet we fail to realize that our value lies within ourselves – God’s dwelling place. All we have to do is acknowledge it, then and only then will we need not look for it elsewhere. People will not tell us we’re worthy half as much as they know we are. We need to internalize that we are period!

Image“Pain is not the result from the love we are denied by others, but rather from the love we deny them”- A Return to love

When people act in a less than loving way, we have to remember that it is not hate that drives their action but pain & pain needs love to heal. Our power lies in understanding what is really behind the other person’s action… but if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also… Matt. 5:39… Yes, yes I can hear your reaction, “Are you telling me not to defend myself if someone physically attacks me?” well, yes in a way. The nature of Jesus’ statement is that we should be motivated by love and a desire for the redemption and forgiveness of offenders instead of revenge, while opposing their actions. Of course Jesus does not want us to become doormats during an attack, he just wants us to remember that our reaction should be one that is above & beyond the other person’s action. We should defend ourselves in a way that we don’t foster hate.

“Remember that light always casts out darkness – when present – yet darkness can never cast out light”- Unknown

I personally think that fear thrives in relationships. Fear of being rejected; fear of losing the person we love; fear that we are less than expected. We fear constantly whether we are conscious of it or not. Yet when we fear we are not acting upon the other person’s best interest because we are not giving ourselves fully, but partially. When we fear we are not loving we are probing, thus allowing the relationship to become less than fulfilling at best or either toxic or non-existent at worst. It is only when we love fully without reserves – without fear – that a relationship will thrive when it serves us and move on when it doesn’t. Neediness is public offender number one in any relationship. Why? because it is all about us NOT the ones we love, therefore extremely selfish yet cleverly disguised as love. Neediness is 100% ego. Neediness begs the other person to fill the gaping hole in our soul. Try as they might people will never be able to do that, only God can. Our neediness is a reflection of the feeling of not being good enough. We need to abandon this idea in order to stop this insane roller coaster of unnecessary pain. When we truly love someone we need to release them in order to allow them to be who they need to be or go where they need to go.

In genuine love there is no wanting or needing whatsoever, we are complete beings who allow other complete beings to share our journey. This is would be the best case scenario. We should be able to say to our significant other, “I don’t need you & you don’t need me to be happy and that’s exactly what we need to make our relationship work.” Self-love is at the center of every good relationship. If I am sure that I’m not good enough, I will find it hard to accept someone in my life who thinks I am. People think they need to find the right mate to complete them, I think they need to be complete to find the right mate.

“Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.”- Osho

I’ve learned – and still am – that peace isn’t determined by circumstances outside ourselves. Peace roots from self-love which comes from God & from the love and forgiveness we give to others. It is our failure to accept people exactly as they are that enables pain to overshadow our love in any relationship. We love fully when we let people be who they are – whatever stage of their growing process they might find themselves in. Acceptance fosters growth, unacceptable inhibits it.

ImageChasing happiness is like chasing the ever so elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the more desperate our search becomes, the more happiness will elude us. Why? because happiness is already inside of us when we acknowledging it. How? by shifting our perceptions in correct alignment with the truth. What is the truth? an open heart. ‘An open heart will move us in the direction we are supposed to go.’- A Return to love.

I think fear will never fully leave us, therefore we have to look for ways to make peace with it, not attack it. I think that anything we attack we give more power. The idea is to acknowledge the fear within and let go – let go of the idea of not being good enough, allow people to be, think, act however they choose to without letting it shake your inner peace, let go of pride (which is masked fear) etc. This can only come from a higher power from within – The Holy Spirit. The gap between love and fear is within ourselves.

 “Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting it on yourself.”

― Og Mandino

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